how i spend my summer vacations w/ the philadelphia philllies ....part2

the definition of myth that i like best is:

A real or fictional story, recurring theme, or character type that appeals to the consciousness of people by embodying its cultural ideals or by giving expression to deep commonly felt emotions

There are currently two myths that plague all of Philadelphia. And June 2006, I came face-to-face with both of them while dealing with an unruly drunken lout of a fan. His contention was that Philadelphia fans somehow are more passionate about our teams than anyone else; so therefore are given free reign to heap as much scorn and bile upon any other opposing fans. And furthermore, Philadelphia fans, because of this passion and suffering, are entitled to a World championship. So i should of just let this dude go about screaming curses, challenging violence, and spitting on these well-behaved, timid Mets fans.
And for about five seconds, i thought about it. The argument that "This is Philly" brings to mind an idea, almost a code of how a Philadelphia sports fan should act. But this is Philadelphia, wherein they signed the Declaration of Independance. So some dude was gonna sit there, in the birthplace of American freedom, and explain to me that it was cool that he was denying people the right to root for their team!?!!?! No F@*(king way!
Sure, I hate the Mets! I loathe the Jose! Jose! Jose! and "Let's go Mets! chants! I dislike that sooooo many of their fans flock to CBP and are embiggened by the fact that they see so many like-minded buttholes. I can't stand orange; I think Jose Reyes is a twerp (one who farts in bathtubs, then bites the bubbles), the only time I enjoy seeing David Wright is when he morphs into the SNL character, Rory Calhoun, explaining away how the Mets have choked another one. AGAIN!!!!! Of the entire borough of Queens, I would only show respect towards the Ramones and Spider-Man. So pretty much the only time I wanna see a Mets fan is on TV @ Shea crying about how their awful team just let them down AGAIN!!!!!!, when they held such high hopes that the Mighty Mets would destroy the lowly Phillies. If only..... their bullpen wasn't atrocious, or there was no such team as the Florida Marlins, or their team wasn't a mass of choke artists, or any other observation that distracts them from the fact that the Mets just aren't that great.
That being said, I have friends that are Mets fans; and we get along great. I razz 'em good: their bullpen is atrocious, their team is a mass of choke artists, or any other observation that lets them know that the Mets just aren't that great. But there are never fights; not even terse words. People like who they are gonna like and that should have little or no bearing on whomever i like.
So next time you are @ the ballpark, watch the field and not the stands. And if you come across a Mets fan; razz 'em. Call 'em whack or ill-fashioned, recant the events of the two previous baseball seasons, lament "2 time NL east Champs!" But if you can't do it with a little bit of charm, sarcasm, or wit, and you need intimidation or threATS of violence to bolster your argument where baseball stats would do just fine......
then maybe you aren't mature enough to come to a ballgame without parental supervision.

how i spend my summer vacations with the philadelphia phillies part1

Not everybody knows; but I am the host @ Citizens Bank Park. Sure, there are many, many others that have the same job as me; but like Jesus': i am "the King of Hosts", or "the Host of Hosts", or "the greatest f##king Host that ever lived."(whichever is the most blasphemous!)
I started this job in June 2006, just when the Phillies really started to get good. In my second full season, the Phillies are in the playoffs for the second time. And if I work until 2057, I'll have made about %10 of what the Phillies paid Wes Helms last year. I got 6 grand, he got 2.3 million dollars. He was the back-up 3B who was supposed to replace David Bell, who was paid 4.7 million dollars, but he sucked. You know what? Bell sucked too. If there's a sucker born every minute than most of them have sucked for the Phillies. Or better yet sucked @ picking players who also sucked for the Phillies. But of all the suckers who have sucked for the Phillies, their numbers pale in comparison to the greatest collection of suckers all-time: the fans.
So here it is, mid-June 2006, and my first game is against the NY Mets (my least favorite squadron). Even worse than the Mets is their fans; a slobbenly, ugly, whiny, super-fat, entitled and ignorant group of trash from Jersey who often clash with our fans (who, oddly enough are a slobbenly, ugly whiny, super-fat, entitled and ignorant group of trash from Jersey.) The Phillies are winning and our fans are free to razz their fans. At this point in the season, the Phils trailed the Mets by only a few games and were starting to not suck. That is until disaster strikes:
On the field, Bell boots an easy play and the Mets score runs, take the lead, and go on to just one hit away from the World Series.
And in the stands, I get my first complaint. A well-mannered and mature Phillies fan (yes, we actually exist.) informed me that the back-and-forth between a group of timid Mets fans and one drunk and unruly Phillies fans was escalating and could possibly lead to fisticuffs (in my section: 303/304) So I step in and immediately tell everybody to cool out. Unfortunately this drunk and unruly phils fan just won't shutup. He's going on-and-on with these tired olde cliches about "this is philly" and "we threw snowballs @ Santa" and how starved Philadelphia is for a championship. ...to be continued.