how i spend my summer vacations with the philadelphia phillies part1

Not everybody knows; but I am the host @ Citizens Bank Park. Sure, there are many, many others that have the same job as me; but like Jesus': i am "the King of Hosts", or "the Host of Hosts", or "the greatest f##king Host that ever lived."(whichever is the most blasphemous!)
I started this job in June 2006, just when the Phillies really started to get good. In my second full season, the Phillies are in the playoffs for the second time. And if I work until 2057, I'll have made about %10 of what the Phillies paid Wes Helms last year. I got 6 grand, he got 2.3 million dollars. He was the back-up 3B who was supposed to replace David Bell, who was paid 4.7 million dollars, but he sucked. You know what? Bell sucked too. If there's a sucker born every minute than most of them have sucked for the Phillies. Or better yet sucked @ picking players who also sucked for the Phillies. But of all the suckers who have sucked for the Phillies, their numbers pale in comparison to the greatest collection of suckers all-time: the fans.
So here it is, mid-June 2006, and my first game is against the NY Mets (my least favorite squadron). Even worse than the Mets is their fans; a slobbenly, ugly, whiny, super-fat, entitled and ignorant group of trash from Jersey who often clash with our fans (who, oddly enough are a slobbenly, ugly whiny, super-fat, entitled and ignorant group of trash from Jersey.) The Phillies are winning and our fans are free to razz their fans. At this point in the season, the Phils trailed the Mets by only a few games and were starting to not suck. That is until disaster strikes:
On the field, Bell boots an easy play and the Mets score runs, take the lead, and go on to just one hit away from the World Series.
And in the stands, I get my first complaint. A well-mannered and mature Phillies fan (yes, we actually exist.) informed me that the back-and-forth between a group of timid Mets fans and one drunk and unruly Phillies fans was escalating and could possibly lead to fisticuffs (in my section: 303/304) So I step in and immediately tell everybody to cool out. Unfortunately this drunk and unruly phils fan just won't shutup. He's going on-and-on with these tired olde cliches about "this is philly" and "we threw snowballs @ Santa" and how starved Philadelphia is for a championship. ...to be continued.